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Category Archive for 'Personal'

Rip Van Winkle in the House

Do you suppose I should be concerned that I drifted off to sleep while watching TV and when I got up, I had cobwebs all over my face? I mean it couldn’t possibly have been more than like 10 minutes or so. It is still June 19, 1998 isn’t it?

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Is This a Tunnel I See Before Me?

Holy Crap! My Bowflex just totally kicked my big ol’ cotton soft ass. I’d go and pour myself a nice tall glass of water if I thought there was a chance in hell I could actually lift it. *pant* *pant* *pant* Oh …. I feel myself getting pulled into a tunnel. The light looks so […]

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The Attention Span of a Nat

I’m experimenting with cutting caffeine out of my diet. The headaches are manageable enough, but the lack of focus is a bitch. You know all those kids being diagnosed with ADD? Yeah, well instead of getting them all hopped up on Ritalin, just give them a diet coke.

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What Doesn’t Kill You

So I woke up Sunday feeling completely gross after a week of the worst diet known to man or beast (to say nothing of a few months of winter’s dark, dark apathy). I made a point to spend a few minutes lifting heavy things. Of course, I expected to be weak after such a long […]

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Enough of That Already

I have a sense that I’ve been getting too self-deprecating recently. My confidence in myself has often been confused with arrogance. I understate my abilities and qualities for humorous effect, and to keep my ego from blossoming out of control. Uncertainty is less appealing to me than excessive confidence though. I need to dial that […]

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On this day…

1759 – Mt. Vesuvius errupted and killed many 1859 – Darwin published “On the Origin of Species” 1874 – Joseph F Glidden patented barbed wire 1963 – Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald 2003 – I ate a dry slice of carrot cake* On This Day * Purchased at a soul eating Super Walmart that […]

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Gut Up You Little Punk!

OK, so after 3 months of loafing, you finally got that Bowflex machine out of mothballs. Good for you. But seriously, 1 1/2 puny little sets with resistance that you could tell almost instantly wasn’t enough? What the hell is wrong with you, you tiny little puddle of nothingness? I know; the work out lasted […]

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Stupid Body

My dumb body woke me up this morning at around 5 AM for no other reason than simple spite. Well, OK, I did get to bed a bit earlier than normal last night due to the fact that staying out really, incredibly, just stupidly late on both Friday and Saturday knocked my internal clock deep […]

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Oh, God — The Burning

I was a little iffy about blogging this, but I figured what the hell. It’s sort of funny, and if Andre can write about accidentally drinking his own semen I should at least be able to share my ongoing battle with hair. More…

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I Need a Shower

I went for my first professional massage today. I’m not sure how I feel about the experience. I didn’t hate it or anything, but I was expecting to have one of those why did I wait so long kinds of experiences. I didn’t get that though. To begin with, there was just an awful lot […]

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