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Groomed For Greatness

I’ve noticed a disturbing trend. The past few times I’ve gone in for a hair cut, the “stylist” tries to give me a new style. I wouldn’t mind so much except that I’m concerned they’re cutting with their intended style in mind instead of cutting so that the style I’m going to force my hair back into will look as good as possible.

I can understand that my goofy hairstyle is so out of date, that these people feel compelled to do me the favor of bringing me into the current millennium. I can understand that people need to feel creative and fulfilled at work and that they’re trying to do the best job possible.

But the thing is, I didn’t ask for a new style. In fact I typically say something along the lines of pretty much exactly like it is now but trim up the layers a little bit. Also, if I was going to experiment with a new style, I wouldn’t be going to some random stranger who may or may not actually have a license to cut hair, and I wouldn’t be paying the absolute minimum possible for a haircut without resorting implements that I could buy myself off some late night infomercial.

Also, I think that stupid Queer Eye for the Straight guy show has totally undermined my ability to shave. I used to know how to shave, but a friend got me watching that stupid show, and they go on and on about how to shave and how not to shave, and even though I don’t want to think about it, it’s like saying don’t think of a pink elephant. I can’t get them out of my head in the morning. So, I’m over aware of what I’m doing, so of course I cut and scrape myself to no end. Who knew TV could be so dangerous?

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