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Nicked myself shaving this morning. Normally, this is no big deal. Splash a little cold water on it, maybe a bit of pressure, and the thing clots up lickety split. Not so today. Today, there seems to be no stopping the bleeding. I jumped in the shower not understanding the severity of my mortal wound, and got out COVERED in blood. Seriously, I looked like I’d murdered somebody

Now, I’ve seen the movies. I know that standard first aid procedures requires a little bit of toilette paper. Well, 13 rolls and something like 8 quarts of blood later, I’m thinking stronger measures may be required. Perhaps a tourniquet around my throat. I’m beginning to feel woozy. I bet this means I could get away with cookies and orange juice for breakfast.

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