The weirdest stuff happens to me in restaurants. Take for instance this recent exchange:

Waitress: How is everything?

Me: It's good. Thanks.

Waitress: ???
(it was unintelligible, but it sounded like "do you want a chair?")

Me (mind racing furiously): Ughm...

Waitress: It looks really good. I'd love a bite.

Me (realizing the first thing must have been "Do you want to share"): Ughm

Waitress (reaching for my Credit Card on the table): Do you want me to run this for you?

Me: Ugh yeah. Thanks.

Now, I'm sure she was joking.

I ....

I think she was joking. It's just, it so thoroughly crossed the bounds of the set social roles. It was just BOOM! With no warning she went from person who brings me food to person who wants my food. I felt like I had to protect it from her, but being reflexively polite, I also felt like maybe I had to offer her I bite since she asked. But, I didn't want to offer her a bite. I was really hungry and I wanted it all. I'm trying to put all this together in my head in the second I had to decide how to respond, and I'm thinking why would she ask me that? Is she trying to flirt? She can't be. There was no lead-in. I don't even think there was eye contact. I mean does she really want a bite? She has to be joking.

Is it just me? I mean, I know I don't always do well with people. They don't always make sense to me, and I'm way more comfortable when things make sense. Computers make sense. Generally everything in the world makes sense. People? Not so much.

I do well in restaurants because the social roles are defined. I know what's expected of me. I don't need to think about the interaction. I don't even really need to listen to what the person's saying. In fact, I'm not even sure I do listen to what they're saying. That's why that first "do you want to share" line was so unintelligible to me. It didn't fit in the pattern I was counting on. I was completely thrown, and I'm left feeling like it was somehow my fault. It's like I need to be less rigid or something. Like if I could step out of myself I'd get that she was really being funny or friendly or something. I don't know though. It just seems so inappropriate to me. It can't just be me can it?